A crazy long time and a crazy lot to say!

I haven't blogged in a very long time now. I could not tell you how much weight I have lost since the last time I posted, but I can tell you that this has been one crazy life these past 3 years.

We left Rantoul (none too soon), Kent has been through 3 jobs and is now settled in a job that he at least enjoys, Kent separated from the military for good, we moved again (this time to stay), I was diagnosed with Cancer, had a hysterectomy, and now we are starting the adoption process. *Whew* That sure was a lot in one big breath.

Now we are raising funds for the adoption. We have held a rummage sale that was highly unsuccessful, nearly as unsuccessful as the t-shirts we had printed. We still have a lot of the things that were donated to us and several of the tshirts. So this time around we are doing an online fundraiser and youcaring.com site. I will provide the links to both of these sites below.

It is so difficult not to get discouraged when looking at the price tag adoption. It breaks my heart to think of how many children go without homes  when there are so many loving people out there longing to be parents. No dollar amount should stop a child from having a loving family.

I beg of you to help, if not us then another family. There are lots out there hoping to one day hold an infant in their arms that they can take home with them.

Here is the link to our You Caring page:
Kent and Raynel + Baby = Family!


This link is for our fundraising page which sells multiple different items and we receive 40% of all sales.
Kent and Raynel Adoption Fund


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Fat and Sassy!

Haha! "Fat and Sassy",  that is what my mom always says when people ask her how she is.  I have always found it funny. I was just thinking of it for some reason and I wanted to share. Most women hate to hear that they are like their mom including my mom, sister, and sometimes even myself. You know though I can think of many people who it would be a lot worse to be compared to.

I have never known Mom not to embrace what she is. I mean it sounds kind of crude but in a way "fat and sassy",  is very true. She has always been chunky I have never known her to be thin and she sure does not lack in the way of sass. She is an amazing women however; strong (sometimes to a fault), and loving (sometimes till it's overbearing), and boy does she have a work ethic.

This strong, loving, hard working mother of mine raised two girls who I would like to believe are good, loyal, loving, and honest women. We may not always be so strong or have her work ethic, but she taught us to be there for others, and to love till we had nothing left to give. For me my strength is when she is not around I have always been cool under pressure until I heard my mommy's voice then I could break. A few weeks ago there was a death in the family of a close friend and my mom went to be with them. She asked me (very confused) a week later why this woman whom she had never previously met turned to her for comfort. I had no problem with this explanation as she has always been my comfort. I told her how she just gives off an air of safety, she is the calm in the storm.

I do not know why I am writing this. Maybe it is more for mom and my soul than for the public eye but it is floating in the empty chasm between my ears and I want it to be out in the open where she or anyone else can read it. It is almost guaranteed that she does not know how I feel about her, that she doesn't really even have the slightest clue. She is my hero though, a woman who raised her little girl on her own with all the love any kid could ever need. I respect her, I admire her, and more than anything I love her. She is my light house, my way home, and my Fat and Sassy momma.  

Morals and Values

So I had an interview today, and well... I thought the interview went well. That is until I had to take the morals and values test. Now I am pretty big on morals and I think my values are pretty decent.  I am constantly teaching the kids (and many of the adults) in my life right from wrong.  We say please and thank you, we always say pardon me when we need to interrupt for some  reason, and God forbid you not excuse yourself when you pass gas. You do not take something unless it is offered to you and you absolutely do not steal.  That is just the way I was raised. I try not to lie even though it does happen from time to time, and I try to never chastise others for the way they live and believe. So when I was informed i had failed this test I was shocked to say the least. After reviewing the print out of the negative indicators for this test I am even more shocked and kind of upset at how the computer interpreted my answers.

First it says I believe I am dishonest enough to steal! Uh No! My answer was probably not! However if it came between stealing an apple and my baby going hungry damn straight I would steal that apple. 

Next it says I believe someone who drinks alcohol is very acceptable. Yes I do! The question did not state whether or not the person was drinking before a shift or at work. It only said the person drank alcohol. I am perfectly fine with that. I am not however ok with someone drinking to excess or with someone who drinks in the work place or drinks and drives. 

Any way those are just two of the ones that really pissed me off. I guess I will be taking this test again because I really need this job.

Wish me luck!

Sometimes life is the battering ram and your the door!

Wow has it been a long time since I have updated anything. I guess I have just been dealing with life more or less and have forgotten that I may not be the only person interested in the goings on  of the past 9 months.
Well just a quick update in as few words as possible. Life has beat my ass this past 9 months.  I refuse to dwell on this any longer though. It is time to pick myself up by the boot straps and start the moving forward. On a good note however as life has been having it's way with me it has also been shoving those nasty pounds right down the gutters too!

This month is going to be a particularly rough one so I made the decision that meals would be preplanned. Here is a list of the meals I will be making if you would like to have the recipes to any of them please do let me know.


Breakfast: (there are not many of these as we do not often get up early enough to have a true breakfast.)

Bacon and Egg Toast cups

Homemade easy Cinnamon Rolls

Omelets

Homemade Pop Tarts

Baked Stuffed French Toast

Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit bake

Biscuit Bubbles



Lunches will be left overs as it just does not make a whole lot of sense to me to be making a meal when there is food in the fridge.


Dinner: (there will be leftovers frozen here for repeat meals)

Spaghetti Bread

Doritos Taco Salad

Beef and Noodles

Homemade Hand Pies

Pizza Casserole

Chicken Ala King

Sloppy Joes

Potato Soup

Homemade Beef Stew

Sausage and Sauerkraut

Homemade easy Chicken and Dumplings

Skillet Lasagna

Red beans and Rice (scratch made)

Chili

Tater Tot Casserole

Hash brown Casserole

Mexican Stuffed Shells


I know not all of this is calorie conscious, but everything is ok in moderation.

Fall is here!

There is a chill in the air, the leaves are turning and falling, and I am craving warm soups and stews. I love sweater weather! Here is another thing that brings me fall joy, hope they bring you a smile too.

Trick or Treat?

So I sat outside Monday night and froze my butt off. I was tempted to turn some of the kids away. I mean there was seriously no attempt at a costume.  I just want to give an example of what costumes look like ( I also want to show off what I consider the most adorable cow poke ever).

Please parents of Rantoul take a page from the Jonah and Addyson costume book. 

I mean seriously when I was a kid picking out your costume was an exciting thing! My mom did not buy into the expensive store bought costumes very often but I never remember going trick or treating in my plain clothes. One year she used food coloring and tinted Crisco purple painted my face and put a black trash bag over my body. TADA! I was a California rasin! One year she found this yellow cat costume at a rummage sale and it fit me (I was none too excited) but it did not have the head so she painted my face yellow and left my hair down all day (if you do not understand, this means that I had a huge fro). By trick or treat time I was a lion with a huge mane. She was imaginative, some times a bit frugal, but always cared how cute we were even if she did not have the money to buy a costume. Thanks Mom for caring enough to make sure we never went with out anything, and for not letting us ever feel left out. 

The failure in me.

I feel sometimes as though I can not do anything right. Like most of my life I have either half accomplished things or just completely failed. I see November 7th quickly approaching and I am not even near a 30 pound loss. I know it is my fault I can not make myself diet, exercise, or some days even get up. I don't have a job and I see our household quickly sinking, and I am scared. I blame me for our sinking I didn't stand up and take care of me I relied on someone else. I know that my problems are self made, that my stress is more my burden than anyone else.  I was once a woman who was some kind of strong, able, beautiful, and intelligent. I do not know what those things are any more. Strong? I am far from that I would rather lay in a ball than face my world most of the time. Able? I do not know what I have the ability to do any more. I feel like I am unqualified for everything. Beautiful? Not in the least, I am fat, I nearly have a full beard, and my face peels like a snake. I can not even stand to look at myself in a mirror.  Intelligent? No far from that, most of the time stupid and inferior. Some days I feel like the biggest lie in all those words is woman. I do not fit that definition any more. The one thing in this world I have ever wanted more than anything is a baby and I can not even do that. Biologically I have all the parts but I can't make them work. I can not seem to make anything work or to be what I am supposed to. Please tell me how.